The Invader and the Pirates
by nld200xy
Summary: Things get out of hand for the Straw Hats when a green nuclear mole enters their ship. What kinds of havoc will he cause? Who knows?
1. Chapter 1

Invader and Pirates

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of One Piece of Invader Zim

We start our story in an American city called… well… I'm not too sure. Let us just say it takes place on Earth in a current century and leave it at that.

In this town lived a strange being. He was green; he had purple eyes and 2 antennae coming out of his HEAD! He also wore a red sweater-type thing and black gloves. He was the average size of a 10-year-old or however old the people in his class were and he, like everyone else in this world, had strange teeth that were square a lot of the time and jagged when he was yelling at someone.

Who was he, you ask? His name was Zim and he had been sent by the Tallest to enslave Earth. Did I mention that the Tallest made a mistake and didn't think this planet existed?

His robot sidekick was a short white and light-blue robot named Gir. Nobody, not even he knew what the G stood for. He was very stupid, but not a complete retard; and he was very fun-loving. Like most robots from his planet, he had short white legs. He also had rather tiny hands and thin tube-like arms. His body was small and was shaped sort of like a tin can with a rounded bottom. His head looked kind of the same only bigger. Did IO mention his legs weren't connected to his body? Well, THEY AREN'T! Also, he had blue eyes. Just thought I'd point that out. His eyes were actual cylinders.

"MUAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the fiendish alien invader as he plotted his next move, "I have come up with the perfect plan to doom these pitiful disgusting humans! Gir, take me to the artillery room!"

The robot gave him a salute and replied, "OKEY-DOKEY!" and pressed a button sending the elevator into a room with all kinds of advanced equipment and weaponry.

This was where the alien devised his evil plans for world conquest. It was completely free from any pitiful disgusting human to get into and was also immune the evil powers of donuts. This was always a safe place to plot.

"This is perfect," Zim said, cackling while he devised his evil plan, "I have discovered that humans are weak against clods of dirt, therefore I will invent a machine that can hurl dirt at my enemies! It's perfect and maniacally fiendish!"

Sadly, there was a problem with his machine. As soon as he turned it on, it exploded and a purple vortex came out of it.

"What is this?" Zim asked in astonishment, "It appears to be a wormhole! NOOOO!"

In mere seconds, he and Gir were both sucked into the hole. Where they would go nobody knew.

We now start a different, yet slightly-related story in a world where the pirate era was still taking place. This sea that it was in was known as the grand line and the fiercest of pirates ruled here.

The pirates that our story revolves around are some of the strongest pirates in this grand line. They were known as the Straw Hats.

Luffy was the captain who had just received a bounty of 300,000,000 berries. He was a plucky young kid with a dream of becoming the pirate king. He wore a straw hat had a scar under his right eye and a big monkey-like face. He also had short black hair, a red sleeveless shirt and a pair of blue half-jeans. He also wore a pair of sandals. They were SANDALS OF DOOM! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (It is so fun writing like the Zim characters talk)

The swordsman was Luffy's first mate. He was a muscular man who wore a white T-shirt, wielded 3 sword, dreamt of being world's best swordsman, had short green hair, wore a green truss, a green bandana for battle, serious narrow eyes and a smug face of DOOM! He was Roronoa Zoro, or as the evil pitiful disgusting employees at 4shame called him before they stopped publishing One Piece episodes, Zolo! AUGH! The evil name of… uh… EVILNESS!

The navigator was a beautiful young woman who loved to steal. She had short orange hair… of doom… always wore what the creators wanted her to where (Use your imagination, people) and wielded a blue staff called the Clima Tact! VERY DEADLY! Her name was Nami and she was the cutest girl among the 2 girls in the crew! AW!

The sniper was a long-nosed man named Usopp. He had curly black hair, a somewhat indescribable fashion sense, brown boots, tan skin and eyes shaped like perfect circles. He could also make weapons of mass destruction! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

The chef was a handsome young man with blond hair that covered his left eye. He wore a blue suit and black shoes and was a total womanizer. He was addicted to Nami and cigarettes. He smoked a LOT, at least 4 death sticks a DAY! He was INDESTRUCTIBLE! His name was Sanji and he was the best chef in the world. His dream was to find the All-Blue. Isn't he special?

The only member of the crew that wasn't human was a reindeer! He was also a DOCTOR! He was part-human, so he stood on two feet… er… hooves… of doom… and wore a red top hat… of doom. He had very round eyes and the cutest face you'll ever see among the Straw Hats! He also wore a backpack that he kept his magical doctor stuff in and had a blue nose that he considered a curse. Luckily, it wasn't deadly or contagious. It's a good thing. His name was Tony-Tony Chopper.

The seventh crewmember was a slim woman with long black hair. She was the hottest member of the crew. Sadly, she had a nose that looked like a broken piece of a frying pan, but nobody seemed to care. She also had narrow eyes and wore whatever the creators wanted her to wear. (Much like Nami only often more revealing) Her name was Nico Robin and she was a translator of sorts. FEAR THE TRANSLATING MIGHT!

The final and most recent crewmember was a cyborg. What's a cyborg? It's a human with robot components… or however you want to describe it. He had wavy blue hair, a bulky body with Popeye-style forearms and dressed like Ace Ventura in a Speedo. His name was Franky and he was the crew's shipwright.

Yes, all was well on the Thousand Sunny, which was the name of their new ship with a sweet lion's head as the symbol! Sanji was cooking dinner. This was normal. Nami was drawing a map of some sort and Usopp was looking out for an island.

Franky had no work since the ship was brand new and hadn't been damaged yet. Chopper was just lying around with Luffy and Robin was reading an adventure book. All was calm in the great blue seas.

Sadly, they didn't know it, but there was a no-good stowaway on board the ship and he was no-good to the bone! Who was this bad guy, you ask? Let's just say that a certain green nuclear mole had ended up on this ship after being sucked through a wormhole along with his annoying robot sidekick.

"Gir!" he shouted, "Where are we? What is this strange vessel that floats across the sea and has a floor made of wood?"

"This is whale!" Gir shouted smiling happily as Zim shut the robot's mouth and whispered, "Quiet! There might be puny humans on board this vessel! Why else would it be moving? We must hide!"

So, he ran into the first room he could find with the robot behind him entering rather slowly and carefree… y.

Luckily, Zim was safe in here. There was nothing wrong with this room and it was unoccupied. Also, more luck struck him.

"GIR!" he shouted, pulling a wig, a dog suit and a pair of plastic eyes out of his knapsack, "Our disguises came with us! That way, if we are caught, we will at least blend in with the puny humans!"

Sadly, somebody had obviously heard his amazingly loud voice and followed the sound.

"I think it came from in here," a voice said as a woman said, "I hope you weren't lying about this."

As Luffy and Nami opened up the door, the two stared at a small green kid and a yellow dog that resembled a stuffed toy.

"Hello, fellow passengers!" the alien said with his wig tightly attached to his head, "We are regular Earth humans just like you… only he's a dog… and we just happened to hop aboard your fine sea vessel!"

Luffy grinned and asked, "Why are you on our ship?"

Nami pushed the blind-sighted idiot out of the way and spat, "STATE YOUR BUSINESS HERE, STOWAWAY! YOU DON'T LOOK HUMAN!"

"Whatever do you mean?" Zim replied, "I am as human as you and the weird-looking kid who might be a monkey."

Nami examined him and asked, "If you're human, then why is your skin green and your face lacking in a nose and ears? Furthermore, how did you end up on our ship?"

Zim thought of the most legit excuse he could use and stated, "This is a skin condition and I am very sensitive about it! Furthermore, I was stranded in the ocean and thought I'd hop aboard your sea vessel!"

This was quite strange, but surprisingly, Nami actually believed him and, well, it didn't take a lot to fool the captain.

Zim and Gir were then taken to meet the other crewmembers and get acquainted. Zim was in no mood to learn names, but he had to keep up the act. Gir, on the other hand, was completely giddy over meeting new friends and gave everyone a hug.

Chopper noticed the dog speaking like a human with a very high-pitched squeaky voice and asked, "Are you part human like I am?"

Zoro was also curious. This too seemed like the result of a devil fruit.

"That's odd," the swordsman said, "I thought that there was only one copy of each existing devil fruit."

Zim frowned and asked, "Tell me, what is this devil fruit of which you speak?"

"It is a powerful fruit that enables the consumer god-like powers in exchange for the ability to swim," Nami explained. This gave the alien some wicked and dastardly ideas.

After being introduced to the whole crew, he and Gir walked off into a desolate corner as Zim laughed maniacally and said, "Now that I have stowed away on this sea vessel, I will take control of it and enslave these pitiful beings known as pirates! I will be the supreme ruler of the grand line!"

All looked well for him, but one thing was against him. Zoro didn't trust him, much like he always felt suspicious of the women in the group when they first joined. Either way, this was sure to be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

Invader and Pirates

Disclaimer: I am SO sorry that I am not updating as much as I should! Gee, I've had so many great plans for this one and I've held it off for too long. I really don't wanna have to give up on this one.

It had been quite a horrible day in the land of trees… I mean the grand line. Zim had wound up in a world with pirates and was now a part of a goody-two-shoes crew working under the orders of FILTHY humans!

"Can you believe this, Gir?" Zim spat as his robot was jumping on the guest room bed, "I hate the admit it, but in order for me to succeed in my latest plan, I have to cooperate with these stinking humans! But I'll tell you something, Gir, once I have enslaved humanity, it will have all been worth it!"

Soon enough, it was time for the highlight of the typical day at sea for the Straw Hats. Sanji had finally made dinner and everyone was excited… except for Zoro because he's a party pooper.

As such, Zim had no choice but the join the crew. He twitched and chattered his teeth nervously.

"This is quite a predicament," he said while Gir scarfed down an entire steak in one gulp, "I must be able to eat their filthy food without them knowing."

And so he picked up a piece of food slowly with his fork. The crewmembers stopped eating and stared at the alien as he struggled to get it near his mouth.

Then it happened. Zim ate it as the food burned his tongue.

"GAAAAAAHHHH!" he shouted in pain, "DELICIOUS! I'M NORMAL!"

"Wow, that's the best reaction to Sanji's cooking I've ever seen," Usopp said, "He must really like it."

Upon hearing this, Zim was relieved to see that he had not just ruined his plan yet. He sighed with relief and slapped his forehead realizing that there was a much better plan. As such, he picked up his plate of food and walked into the guest room to 'finish' it.

"Wow, he must really love my food," Sanji said as Zoro remarked, "I don't see how he could enjoy this crap."

"What was that, Marimo head?" Sanji retorted as Zoro smirked, "I said that I don't see how he could enjoy your crap!"

"YOU WANNA GO?" the chef spat as the swordsman unsheathed his swords and shouted, "BRING IT!"

The crew just watched as the two battled it out. Luffy was laughing insanely while Chopper was freaking out at the thought of them getting hurt. Robin used a book to ignore the scene while Nami simply ate her food. Franky also started to freak out and wondered if he should stop the fight.

Usopp grinned and said in a Sanji-like voice, "Oh, Zoro, your abs are so manly."

Then he changed to a Zoro voice and stated, "Sanji, you are like a dream come true."

"Oh, Zoro-kun, why won't you make love to me?"

"I'm about to once I shove my sword up your…"

"SHUT UP!" the two pirates spat glaring at Usopp before they went ballistic on him.

Zim heard this noise and groaned. These guys sounded incredibly strong, and if fighting was considered fun, he was in danger.

Soon enough, the crew landed on an island and set out for their usual routines. Sanji, Usopp, Nami and Chopper set off to find supplies for the ship. Zoro stayed behind to keep guard. Robin and Luffy set off to explore but for completely different reasons. Franky decided to buy some materials for the ship.

Zim saw this as an opportunity. He quickly got off the ship and said, "Alright, Gir, now I have time to clear my head! It is obvious that these pirates are most dangerous adversaries. If we were on their bad side, we could wind up dead! But, maybe we could use them. If I manage to take over this world, then maybe they can be my slaves. If not, I'll just vaporize them."

Gir was entertaining a bunch of impressed citizens shouting, "DO A LITTLE DANCE!" just as Zim turned around and noticed him goofing off.

He started to fume at the head and spat, "GIR, STOP THAT FOOLISH DANCING AND GET OVER HERE!"

Gir quickly ran over to his master and shouted, "I LIKE TACOS!" while Zim grumbled and walked along with him.

He just kept walking and talking about world domination when he tripped over something round and hard. He rubbed his head and was about to destroy what he had tripped over when he realized what it was.

"UGH!" he shouted in disgust, "IT'S A FRUIT! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"

Gir looked at it and picked it up saying, "I'll keep it as a pet!" and placed it under his costume.

"How can you keep something so foul?" Zim asked, "Never mind. It's not like it can hurt me now."

And so he decided to head back to the ship. It was at this very moment that the crew had returned from their errands.

They were about ready to set sail when the strange fruit squeezed out of Gir's disguise and landed in front of them.

"What is that?" Chopper asked while Usopp explained, "It is a strange alien fruit from the depths of space. It came to Earth for the soul purpose of spreading love."

"Really?" Chopper asked while Nami bonked Usopp over the head and explained, "It looks more like a devil fruit. You should know what it looks like, Chopper."

Upon hearing these very words, Zim flipped over towards the fruit all dramatic and cool-like and clutched onto it.

"Zim, what are you doing?" Nami asked while Zim turned to them and shouted, "I SHALL EAT THIS FRUIT, YOU FOOLISH EARTH MONKEYS, AND NOBODY WILL STOP ME!"

"Just shut up and eat it," Zoro wined waking up from his nap, "Nobody else here wants it anyway."

Zim was so relieved. It was incredible how easy this had been. Now he was going to have incredible powers. What powers would he receive, though? Would he be able to rock the earth at his will or perhaps gain the ability to control inanimate objects? Either way, he knew these powers would help him with his plan… his EVIL plan!

He quickly stuffed the fruit into his mouth as it burned his tongue and he shouted, "AUGH! THAT'S TERRIBLE!"

"Yeah, devil fruit doesn't taste good, does it?" Luffy asked as Zim sighed, "It's a good thing I'm not the only one who thinks so… oh god… it's turning in my stomach… AUGH! I'M HUNGRIER NOW!"

Suddenly, Zim's legs turned into a sticky green substance as he seemed to sink towards the ground.

"What is this?" Zim asked while Sanji took a puff of his cigarette and said, "I read about that. That's the Hedoro-Hedoro no Mi. (Slime-Slime Fruit) It allows you to turn into slime."

"What? Slime?" Zim remarked, "Eh? How can I make use of this? This power is useless! I can't do anything with slime! Oh well, I'll just eat another fruit with better powers."

"It's not that easy," Nami explained, "See, once you eat a devil fruit, that's the last one you can eat. If you eat another one, your body will explode."

Zim groaned as Gir started to mess around and threw one of Usopp's balls at Zim. Zim screamed in terror as the ball seeped through his head and came out the other side.

Zim grinned and said, "It would seem that this devil fruit makes me immune to physical attacks. That's convenient. Maybe I can make use of this after all. Gir, it would seem my plan to defeat the humans may succeed after all!"

The crew stared at him upon hearing that remark as the alien laughed and said, "That's just an inside joke that I share with my dog here."

Once again, this horrible lie had actually worked on the crew and he was once again in the clear.

He grimaced and asked, "Say, you, little reindeer man, you've eaten a devil fruit. How can I make this stronger?"

Chopper smiled and said, "Well, everyone in this crew is no super hero, but we all came up with our own attacks to match us best. Maybe you can create attacks out of your devil fruit power."

"Then it shall be done!" Zim shouted as he turned to Gir and spat, "TO THE GUESTROOM!"

And while everyone slept tonight, Zim spent a couple of hours trying to come up with attacks for his new abilities but had only come up with 2, a slime whip and a sticky puddle attack. Yeah, this is a great power he has, very effective.


End file.
